Past moments

I concidered not posting this. I posted it on my private journal, and feel better, so I think I:ll post it here, just to let you know what I:ve been feeling lately. So you know why I:ve been so cranky on the phone and whatnot.

I have figured out the reason I'm depressed. Being stuck at home for 2 weeks without really seeing anybody who speaks english aside, I'm depressed because I am here. I have signed the paper and made the decision that I do not want to stay here another year, and now I have to stay here another 5 months. That is depressing. I still say that the timing of the JET program is it's biggest weakness.

To make myself not depressed, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't really feel like hanging out with the people here. I don't really feel like traveling (don't have the money to do it anyway). I can't change my decision and course of life (I signed a contract, I WILL finish it). I don't feel like writing. I don't feel like drawing. I don't feel like watching tv. I guess I'll continue to eat books, but I have a finite supply of them.

What was that? YOU want to help me not be depressed? But what can you possibly do on the other side of the world, you ask? You can write me about your boring little lives. Tell me the stupid details. Even if you just post them in your own journals. Tell me about your dogs and cats and the stupid little things that I'd be able to see if I was there. Tell me what you watched on tv, what you ate for dinner, what that horrible woman at the office did this week. Please. Help me feel connected. You wouldn't BELIEVE how often I check my email to see if somebody else has replied.

That was a few days ago.

Today I donated 1500 grains of rice to end world hunger. You can too. Builds your vocabulary up while you play.

Doing better, overall. Classes really help with that. The whole not sitting on your butt in the house, you know? And I really liked my classes today. Even if we didn:t do anything special. 3-4 did weather (we played bongo and four corners, same old same old), 5-6 did adjectives (big, little, fast, ect.). 5 went rather well, for them being the hellions I hate, and 6th was early, but went really well. I miss managed time (because they came 1st period, not 5th, and I usually don:t have a class 1st period) so I thought we were done 5 minutes early, and had just finished my 5 minutes left game, so I didn:t know what to do, so I had them turn to their neighbor and janken them and the looser had to describe themselves. *I am heavy* *I am short* *I am fast* ect. I thought it was an excellent use of 5 minutes.

Also, I caught up on Smallville with Justin (we try to watch it together) and while 2 weeks: ago episode was rockin:, this weeks episode was teh lame and makes me sad. I mean, if I wanted to watch The Cell again, I could just watch The Cell again, you know? I:d like to try to get a group of people together to watch Equilibrium and Terminator 3, because not enough people on this island have seen them. T3 (dood, they drive a truck THROUGH a city block) is good for the action, but Equilibrium is just a good movie all around, commenting on the human condition with the obliguatory action sequences. I have a copy of both movies and just have to get off my keester and talk to everybody to see who:d be interested and when said interested parties could attend. If there:s enough people I:d like to go to the german cultural village movie theature, if not, I:m gonna need at least a week to clean my apartment. Being sick is not very good for the cleaning motivation.

Now, I should be going and printing out cards and laminating for next week:s lesson. But the printers are telling me things in Japanese that I don:t understand and I don:t feel like dealing with it. Instead I think I:m going to read and try to make an itenerary for the Thailand trip. That sounds like plan to me.

(PS; I hate how I:m tired. Dead, there are bags under my eyes, I could take a nap right now tired. But as soon as I get home, I:m not tired any more. Usually, shortly after lunch I become not tired any more. And when I try to go to sleep at night, I lay there for about an hour or more, just looking at the ceiling. I:m wondering what:s up with my body clock. This might be why I try to get 9 hours in bed (I think it amounts to somewhere between 6-8, really) and on the weekends I:m dead to the world for 10-12. While I was sick I was getting 10-14 daily. And I didn:t get that horrible *I:ve slept too much* feeling. You know you:re sick when.)